2011- even as i think of it, it is a year which brought many ‘first time’ events, such as the parkinsons and special children classes, advanced ttc program, the moving on from Studio 2 and the ‘back to bindu’ studio 1 classes etc. Glaringly missing as I look back at the year is a yatra, which hope the 2012 moments will bring to us.

Now, let me recollect! For ease of memory, I am going backward, from the latest class to the earliest.

• This Friday, Joanne (kenny’s wife) and Emily started connecting to the hand stand hanging point, in their transit from downdog to uttanasan in the ashtanga salute. Normally not so expressive, Joanne gave a thumbs up sign along with a great smile upon safely landing from handstand herself. Wonderful!
• In the morning ashtanga class, alice lim is starting to stand up from upward bow with both hands together. That is a victory of sorts against her previously existing twisty patterns. And i think it is this year that Ima got over her long term difficulty in standing up from upward bow. wonderful.
• The ‘last Sunday ashtaga class of 2011′ was conducted on an intention connecting theme, and was wonderful to see Lenghee connecting to the teaching deeply. Also, in the triangle series, upon asking students to give me a three teaching theme to connect to triangle, christina promptly said A-U-M. Wonderfully gratifying!
• A few classes before, Kwan did her lightest, brightest upward bow.. so great. Also, she is starting to stabilize in crow, after a long time. Shailaja was another crow and foot behind the head yearner, which 2011 saw certain fruition.
• Feedback from Kwan that her basic class students are really connecting to the theme based Manasa teaching
• Susan Kee gave an impromptu inspiring talk on the Sri chakra to a walk- in inquiry student, who got highly impressed and inspired by it.
• Got some wonderful mails from Shyama from the states, regarding her total connection and relating to some of my talks.. so humbling
• The dec teachers workshop and year end intensive went off well, and so heartening to see the  previous basic students starting to get confident and appearing in the  workshops and doing very well.. special thanks to Helen for infusing  confidence to other students. And also to say, Tania’s efforts to be here  for the workshops from singapore is so inspiring..
• The sad slipping of studio 2 which was honored by a beautiful 3 day workshop, where we poured our gratitude to the studio in her aspects as time (kali), wisdom space (saraswati) and individuality as our beloved studio 2 (lekshmi)
• The advanced ttc is one of the best things happening to Manasa, as we are structuring the teachings,giving it value by organizing and naming it. A big thanks to the participating students
• We also had a very bright 200 hr ttc batch, and tks to them too. A special mention of Mei Mei who  did a marathon; completed the 4 month 200 hr ttc, and without break, plunged into the 500 hr ttc as well
• The Malaysian yoga festival participation was a nice experience too, especially the Manasa special  outdoor morning class, which many of the yoga community connected
• The yoga for Japan was  simply a beautiful heart experience where, though in sadness, we put forth our best community collection so far, (60,000 rm) for Japan, and a special  namaste of gratitude to Mr Kee for his outstanding contribution
• We had a one month daily do along yoga segment with Astro, led by Sandhya, the process of which was  great fun. Thanks to the team of participants
• Sandhya’s ‘knee chest chin  principle’ revealing back bend workshop (her first) was very well received, with Susan Kho and Ng Sook Yee giving very good feed back.
• The Parkinsons class and the classes for special children at Taarana are truly heart opening experiences for us.
• The 3 day ashtanga workshop was a great experience. It was the first time we did it, and students totally connected to the rounding action of lumbar, which is so important  for the lift jumps, a principle we will later terms as the ‘cat’  principle; was very satisfying to see students who previously related to  ashtanga vinyasa only as a fast aerobic exercise connecting to the yoga side of it, and deeply appreciating
• The first workshop of 2011  was the sacrum workshop,  and it was wonderful to see students really  adjusting the lumbar towards tailbone, and tailbone towards pubis, all the  time resisting with the other leg’s front thigh from dropping forward,  which then brings about the upward pelvic movement towards navel, an effect which we would later call as the cobra principle
• I think i am missing many  moments in this summary, but collectively all of it gives a great feel.

I end this mail with a special thanks to our wonderful team of teachers- Penny, Julie, Kwan, Jean, Susan Kee, Lily, Emily, Ng sook, Rouxin as well as others who regularly substitute; and to our Manasa studio owners- Mei Leng, Julie and Khor.  And other teachers who perhaps are not specifically teaching in the Manasa name, but are passing on the teachings sincerely, our gratitude to all of you!

Namaste once again to all of you for supporting and being in the journey with me and Sandhya, and looking forward to 2012 with open hearts.

Waiting in cochin airport, Kerala, to board my flight to trivandrum. Got four more hours for the flight, and malaysian time should be around 8 pm. Thinking of spending time by just typing a few words/ thoughts:

• The early part of flight was mainly time spent on looking out through the window- could nott help but feel totally in awe of nature. The sky- so blue and infinite; the clouds- so many and so white; the earth- so beautiful and green.
• Was so beautiful to see rivers  opening out into the ocean. So many streams loosing their identity in rivers, and rivers loosing identity and connecting to the oneness of ocean. Few rivers were especially serpentine, and almost looked like the classical model of kundalini
• Soon, nothing much could be discerned and started inquiring on what else to look at. turned to body awareness.
• Awareness flows in our body as nervous system based awareness, circulatory system based awareness and muskulo-fascial system based awareness etc, which we can pick up as proprioceptive awareness, kinesthetic awareness etc.
• Nervous system, I linked to brain and mind and thoughts. Different neuronal circuitries firing for no apparent reason, which projects out as  funny stories etc. Nervous system based flow of information is basically encoded. Just like this mail. What I type is encoded as some flow of electrons or something, and reaches out at speed of light, and has to be decoded by some software at your side.
• Then, thought of my niece’s engagement, for which I am going/ coming to india. I could have sent a nervous system styled wish to her through the email, but then, being the lil’ darling she is for me, that would not have sufficed.
• So, physically, the molecules and cells which my body is, has to travel, rather than just encoded email information. The physical flow of information in our body flows through the circulatory system. The molecules have to ride on red blood cells, and then has to alight at the correct destination, swim through the plasma (the crowds of people), pass through the membrane (immigration) and so on. So, spent lot of time in the flight visualizing myself as a peptide molecule flying on a red blood cell through arterial passages etc. The targeted receptor molecules are the welcoming open arms of my father
• In between dozed off a bit and then woke up
• Realized that posture was bad while sleeping. So now, shifted to muscle and fascial system awareness, where awareness flows not as encoded, nor as fluid chemistry, but as tension, compression and adjustment.
• Started being aware of tension, and felt tension at the neck. Remembered Sandhya helping my neck alignment, and adjusted it. Felt compression at lumbar, and quickly put a folded blanket between sacrum and back rest.
• then kept looking at people as they walked to the restroom, as they dozed etc. Most of them needs to improve in their posture awareness, and contemplated whether i can lead an inflight, sitting on chair asana and breathing class.

4 hrs of flight was almost up. Started seeing the lands of India, and lot of dormant neural circuitries of memory, of associations etc started firing, and felt very happy.

Till later

Namaste

And i think i cuold not substantiate any particular message through this mail :) and was just mumbling away.. but was fun.. :)

Last two weeks, for ttc students, the concept of viveka was the main topic of study and practice. Based on some doubts asked by some of them, I am sending this mail.. it is exhaustive as it is meant for ttc students.. but since these are relevant to all yoga students, and also because many of you are thirsty for knowledge, just sending to the group mail..

What is viveka?

Viveka refers to both the practice of distinguishing, as well as the eventual insight of what is what, where things are mixed together; such as when a crystal and a proximate red flower causes the phenomenon of a red crystal, a discernment is required to know that the crystal is colorless, and the color as just a passing phase super imposed due to the flower.

In a more exalted sense, viveka is about 1)distinguishing the ephemeral name/form aspects of objects, 2) recognizing its transitory, impermanent nature, 3) knowing its inherent non dependability for lasting happiness and peace, and 4) discarding the tendency to cling on to names and forms, and 5) the occurrence of awakening wisdom, of that which is permanent and non-changing underlying all the changes (the pure consciousness, instead of the ideas, thoughts etc which forms in consciousness).

How to apply this concept in daily life?

In daily life, one way to practice viveka is distinguishing between sreyas and preyas. Sreyas denotes that which is
auspicious (shuba) and preyas denotes that which is pleasure (sukha). Thoughtless indulgence in pleasures ultimately brings about deterioration and suffering in the mind and body, whereas abidance in the auspicious ultimately brings about joy and peace.

Now, for many people they cannot distinguish these two and just goes about life. But for a discerning student, the clear knowledge is there, as to which thoughts and actions are right, and which are not. However, one is not able to abide in the right, as the other current is just too strong to resist.
Rama, now and then!

So how to overcome this strong current of preyas? This was a question asked by Leng Hee, the man who enacted Rama in the Yoga Vasista drama a few years back for Guru Purnima celebrations.

Thousands of years back, the original Prince Rama also asked his preceptor Vasista the same question, ‘ there are two vasanas
(dispositions) in my mind. Shuba (auspicious) vasanas and ashuba (inauspicious)vasanas. How to overcome the stream of
ashuba vasanas?

Vasista replied, ‘O Raghunandana, samyak prayuktat paurusat samavapyate’, meaning, ‘Rama, by well applied self-effort,
it can be accomplished’.

Consciousness, the fuel!

Now, how should the well applied effort be, in overcoming the inauspicious dispositions?

One way is reduce the effort-ing on continuously thinking and staying with such dispositions.
The fuel of both these auspicious and inauspicious currents is our awareness itself. If we spend lot of time thinking or musing on these
tendencies and desires, then they will garner strength, and can form a sticky layer on our consciousness.

In the first place, we should develop the ability to maintain uninterrupted, minimally reactive awareness of the happenings around us, and within us. Then only we can detect the subtle presence of certain unwholesome dispositions. Otherwise we become one with it, and cannot objectively see it.
Inclining towards sreyas

Once we notice the presence of such thoughts, we have to try to immediately break its hold on our consciousness. One way is to immediately become aware of the present moment- notice the sensation of touch of body against chair, notice breath, notice sky etc..

And then just try to incline the mind towards the What we know is correct.

Do not worry how many times we fail, still be inclined to the right path…
Similar to Sai Yeang’s attempt at handstand…

Even as the vortex of gravity and wrong habitual techniques kept pulling her down every time she attempted hand stand, her inclination towards succeeding in the pose eventually pulled her up.

Similarly we have to be inclined to rise above the weakness, and keep attempting. Do not self-judge at each failure. Each time you fail, you are getting stronger, if you do not label and conclude yourself as a failure.

Our association

Now, another important ingredient towards progress in the path is right company. Scriptures such as Yoga Vasista gives great importance to being in the company of wise or similarly inclined people. People with satguna (spiritual tendencies) and durguna ( selfish, evil tendencies) abound around us. Satguna people are about compassion, commitment, conscience driven ethics etc, while durguna people are about money, pleasure etc.

They will say things like:
‘There is only one life, enjoy to the max.. there is no meaning to commitment and loyalty.. cheat and make money when you can…. everybody cheats, so you can also cheat..’
These are people who can incline us to the stream of confusion..
So it is important that such people are not given too much dominance in our decision making..  However this kind of people are sometimes cute, jovial people.. not really sinister..
Now to close this article, just a reminder of  the four aspects by which our satgunas can be strengthened, as mentioned in scripture yoga vasista-1) quiet mind (shama), contemplation (vichara), contentment (santosha) and association with wise people (sadhu samgama).

The quietness can be developed by trying to abide in the moment, noticing breath etc, which dislodges the mind from getting preoccupied with desires. In the quietness, you will also realize the flavor of the consciousness, whether things you are perhaps doing for pleasure, whether it is giving you a pungent taste deep down in the consciousness etc. Contemplation and inquiry is straightforward in its application. Contentment is really about recognizing and being grateful for what you have.. and how perhaps in your yearning for
satisfying certain tendencies, you might be damaging what you have and cherish most…and lastly, very important is association with sat guna people, who will stoke the sattwic, spiritual tendencies in you..

Namaste

In his famous book, The Tao of Physics, physicist and researcher Fritjof Capra says: “The dance of Siva is the dancing universe; the ceaseless flow of energy going through an infinite variety of patterns that melt into one another. According to quantum field theory, all interactions between the constituents of matter take place through the emission and absorption of virtual particles. More than that, the dance of creation and destruction is the basis of the very existence of matter, since all material particles ‘self-interact’ by emitting and reabsorbing virtual particles. Modern physics has thus revealed that every subatomic particle not only performs an energy dance, but also is an energy dance — a pulsating process of creation and destruction. For the modern physicist, then, Siva’s dance is the dance of subatomic matter, a continual dance of creation and destruction involving the whole cosmos, the basis of existence and of all natural phenomena. The metaphor of the Cosmic Dance thus unifies ancient mythology, religious art and modern physisc”.

In Hatha yoga, we have Natarajasana or the King of Dance, Shiva, pose. In this asana, the extended front arm represents the outward creative, emmissive, revealing power of the universe. The back arm pulling the foot towards the head represents the withdrawal of creation, or the absorptive, veiling power of universe.

Serious yoga students try to feel the three fold qualities of universal energy in every yoga posture, and especially in Natarajasana. When getting into the pose, we are expressing, manifesting, creating; when balancing on the other leg, we sustain, maintain; when coming out of it, we dissolve what we created.

Today, those who are inclined, let us do one natarajasana as an active pose, and do some sitting practice. let us start with Natarajasana, as this posture can improve sense of balance, strengthen ankle joint and leg muscles, improve flexibility of hipflexors and spine

• First stand tall and relaxed with your feet close together.
• With your right leg strong, exhaling bend your left knee behind you. Take hold of the left ankle with your left hand, and then inhaling stretch your right arm up.
• Stay here for a few breaths, feeling the front of the left thigh stretching from the left hip to the left knee. Keep the knees as close together as possible.
• With a long exhalation slowly bend forward stretching the right arm forward. Take 3-5 slow breaths.
• Then with every inhalation try to lift the heart and the back foot up and away from the pelvis.
• After 5-8 breaths, release the foot, and then repeat the other side.
• In the beginning it is common to loose your balance. Instead of getting frustrated, just take a few breaths, be non reactive and simply try again, and then, again.

Sitting Practice

Shiva is not only considered as the body of the dancing cosmos, but is also seen as the still consciousness in which this dance occurs. In one of the scriptures it is said, ‘In the middle of the eye brows of everyone, I reside’. This point is an important concentration points in yoga. It is even said that it is for keeping some awareness of this energy spot that the custom of Indians putting color spots at the middle of the eyebrows came into being. Let us try to attune with this energy point.

• Sit down in a comfortable position with your spine long, sides of ribs lifted, eyes closed, and body still.
• After feeling settled shift your awareness to the insides of your nostrils where you can feel the breath coming in and going out, and for the next few minutes simply be aware of the sensation of your breath.
• Now become aware of the space of the centre of the forehead. Become aware of the darkness there. Look at it as if you are looking at a black sky. This is the state of ratri, or night, symbolizing darkness.
• After a while you might start to perceive some small streaks of light or color. Simply observe without getting distracted. If you wish you can visualize the presence of your spiritual inspiration here.
• For the so inclined, it is also beneficial to do mantra (sound vibration) practice at this point. If you are a bit unsure of this, simply saying ‘peace’ or ‘energy’, or ‘consciousness’ would suffice. After a while you may become aware of a sense of brightness in this skull space.
• In the Netra Tantra, it is said ‘Meditation on this brilliant light (between the eyebrows), manifesting in the form of Mrityunjaya mantra, cools down the scorching heat of material and spiritual poverty. It is pure, peaceful, and unfailing’.
• Now feel the energy and light of the third eye point starting to fill the whole of you.
• After a while feel the space and awareness spreading above you, below you, and everywhere.
• Feel everything as nothing but expressions of infinite, undivided space and divine energy.
• Feel your shell of ego dissolve into the infinite expanse of this energy consciousness.
• Savor the sense of joy and peace inherent in this relaxing of ego.
• Stay as long as comfortable. And then carry on with your daily life activities with a renewed sense of harmony and inner trust.

You might have noticed the painting displayed in studio 2.That beautiful matrix of 43 triangles with the dot in the middle of it all. And when you ask around as to what it is, you might have got answers from ‘Sri Chakra’ to ‘artistic geometry of Lay Peng and Leng Hee’. Now, is it really an artistic creation? Perhaps, something like how Coleridge dreamt of the stately pleasure dome in Xanadu or how Blake wrote of the Tiger’s fearful symmetry?

The answer is both Yes and No.

No, because it did not originate as an imagination, but as an insight revealed to ancient sages in India;  to whom the manifest forms of our world gave way to reveal its light and sound energy patterns.

Yes, because, those revelations are beyond the scope of those who haven’t experienced those states. So the sages had to teach in symbolic ways  which correspond in some way to what normally one experiences in one’s life. So, in that sense, the precise triangles and the underlying symbolism do carry a certain artistry, too.

So what is this insight of the sages?

That the universe you and I see and feel as solid is a splendidly detailed luminous projection on the screen of our minds. What shimmers beneath this projection, and which is beyond the grasp of our current state of mind, is a highly intricate light and sound interference pattern. The clear vision of these underlying light patterns, occurring in an all encompassing light (they call it Maha prakasha), was their experiential realisation.

This great light is what our three dimensional world, (which they termed the tri-pura) is completely ensconced in. In fact, the entire creation of forms in the formless starts by the splitting of light into three, as bhaga (frequency of sun), vajra (frequency of lightning) and soma (frequency of moon).  This again is symbolic, as this is how every man/woman understands light. 

The bindu (the dot in the middle) is the point where all that is to be manifested is held, as concentrated intention, or as the sage Paramahansa Yogananda would say, as ‘thoughtrons’ of the consciousness (light).

Now, when the supreme light sets about manifesting the objective world, it bathes all the ‘thoughtrons’ or thought objects with these three beams of light, so to speak. By the third wash of light, the thought object projects out as a clear, three dimensional gross object.

Now if all this sounds too imaginative, let me assure you it is not, as more and more modern physicists  are now starting to agree and view the universe as exactly how the ancients saw it – a light projection, or to be precise,  a holographic projection.

Now, what is a hologram?

It is a three dimensional photograph made with the aid of a laser. To make a hologram, the object is bathed with a first wash of laser beam. Then a second wash of light is directed to the reflected light of the first, resulting in an interference pattern, which is captured on a film. If this film is developed, the object reveals itself as a meaningless swirl of lines. But when this film is again illuminated by a third wash of laser beam, a three dimensional image of the object appears.

Thus, our entire universe is that, says leading physicists like David Bohm, including our brains, as explained by renowned neurologists like Karl Pribam. Everything projected as a hologram. Projected by light, sustained in light, and eventually absorbed back into the formless light!

The tantriks depict the energy of this light which pervades all three dimensions of the world as the Tripura sundari (the beautiful one with the three-fold body). While ordinary minds can perceive the light only in its third stage, as the holographically projected multitudinous objects of our three dimensional world, the sages could see the light in its second and first stages. Second stage is where the light forms into patterns of lines, triangles, circles, etc. And that is the vision of the Sri chakra, as the geometric energy abstract of the cosmos, simultaneously emanating and dissolving in the bindu.

What is the bindu?

It cannot be easily explained. A point circle with no radius, where siva as consciousness and sakti as its energy are totally inseparable. In the ‘Big bang’ theory of how the universe came into being, they too speak in a similar way, that everything started from an infinitely small point of energy. Some call it the point of singularity. The point in which all matter of universe was held. And then, the point expanded, trillions of times, evolving into space, time and objects.

In a cosmological sense, I understand. But how does it help us individually?

Yes. How can we apply the teachings to aid our individual path is the main focus at Manasa. The Sri chakra has nine levels or chakras. Each chakra represents a particular level of awareness of the aspirant. Hope you remember the term prati prasava used by Patanjali, meaning return to the source. We, from birth, have evolved a concept of ‘self’ through the years, which is basically concretized beliefs and ideas. In fact, if you look at it, each person is a unique personality. And this personality in fact is a swirling amalgamation of beliefs, likes and dislikes.  Based on these beliefs, and motivated by the unique likes and dislikes, we live.

Spiritual practice is about seeing through these walls around us, and slowly realising the pure essence, from where all these have come about.

So, in the end, again what is sri chakra?

Sri chakra is you. The nine chakras are the swirling energy patterns in you, expressing as:   

1^st stage (outermost chakra)- where we are identified fully with the gross body and subject to various emotions. Sensory world is the only world and we are totally in enchantment with it.  

2^nd stage is where many of our desires and material enchantments have been fulfilled.

3^rd stage is the state which follows desire satisfaction, where we realise that desire gratification through material objects haven’t really quenched our thirst. So there is a clear disappointment after the initial happiness, as we discover various shortcomings in the objects and experiences. This dissatisfaction is the junction where most of us find ourselves to be, at different stages of our life. Then we might think that the disappointment is due to some fault of the objects we have chased after, and then begin  to look at other objects, other relationships, etc. We plunge back to the first chakra again. Most of us keep on ascending and descending in these three swirls of energy. At a certain point, detachment arises, wisdom arises, and we realise that no object or person can really satisfy our thirst for fulfilment, happiness, etc. That lies totally in the pure subjectivity of consciousness, and we start to sink deeper and deeper.

4^th and higher, inner levels. Then we start to move on, towards that subtlest and sublime essence of consciousness.

M: Mindfulness. The practice of being continuously aware of events happening outside as well as bodily and mental responses inside.

A: Attention. The practice of attending on a chosen practice. Say, if your practice intention for the day is compassion, then really being attentive to your thoughts, words, actions and expressions to see how you can allow this capacity to blossom. Or, if it is about developing concentration, then attending to breath as continually as possible through the day.

N: Naming. The practice of mentally naming whatever is arising in the mind, whether anger, dislike, contentment, delight, or whatever the emotion is. By naming, a space develops between you and the experience, thereby rendering you free rather than getting caught up with emotions.

A: Accommodating. A practice of not reacting to the emotion, such as trying to push it away in aversion.. (‘why am I sad’.. ‘this stupid anger’,.etc), nor liking it so much that you cling to it.. let it just be..

S: Svadhyaya. An investigation, or an applying of the ‘what is this?’ question to whatever is dominating in our awareness. Say, anger is dominating, but what is anger? Anger is a word..but what is this in terms of experience? How is body experiencing? What is breath experiencing?

A: Anatma (Not-I). The practice of ‘non-selfing’ with thoughts, feelings, ideas etc. For eg, anger is felt. But instead of identifying with it as ‘I am angry’, acknowledging the feeling as just a feeling, and that it is a process of mind and ego, that it’s not who I am.. I am the witness.. I am free.. I am consciousness.

Recently I discovered that some of my instructions in class was not being clearly understood, especially this one, ‘now just experience the body’.

What I mean is most of us are conditioned to view the body, or relate to body as this ‘shape’, of certain age, to be made shapelier or muscular, to be trained to do handstand or backdrop, etc. Personally, I have seen many people very critically viewing their body when they see it in the mirror, or photo. ‘Am I looking slim? Have I put on weight? Am I still looking young? Why cant I do foot behind head? My body is so stiff’ etc

All these do not reflect a friendly, open relationship with the body. This way, we are not relating to body as this unbelievable mass of intelligence, this wonderful gift of nature, on a ’as it is’ basis, but simply selfing ourselves with it, taking it for granted, and in many cases not respecting it, and either abusing it through carefree eating, drinking, smoking etc, or in the desire to look trim, trying to torture it, starve it etc. An appreciative awareness of body is very seldom seen, but which is hoped to flower in yoga practice.

Anyway, when I say in class ‘experience the body’, what I mean is not about sensor-ily sensing the parts of the body, such as sit bones, arms etc. It is also not about thinking of the body nor visualizing the body. Also, don’t try to experience it with your preconditioned knowledge. Existing knowledge is a thing acquired in the past. Don’t let it project into this moment, or into future. Let it stay in the past.

It is more about simply opening to your intention of experiencing the body, and see what slowly comes up as an experience, and being prepared to be content, even if nothing comes up. You have to drop whatever commentary which might simultaneously occur, even as you are trying to experience the body. Just simply be. It is more of a direct experience of body by your awareness.

Direct experience, instead of non sensory experiencing, this term might be again a bit confusing. Don’t bother much about it. Just be open. But know that, your perceptions in your mind too are not sensory. But many times, you might have heard yourselves saying, or connecting to thoughts in a very sensed way, such as ‘I feel weighed down by my thoughts’, or, ‘he/ she was warm to me’ etc. These are sensory terms, but in fact non sensory experiences, experienced directly in your mind.

Similarly, along these lines, an experience might occur. 

Be fully in the present.

A sense of covering, a sense of presence will eventually occur, which might be felt along the qualities of hardness or softness, warmth or coolness, tingling or throbbing , lightness or spaciousness, brightness etc. Let your awareness become as intimate with the experience as you can.

Exhale, and relax. Let all ideas, pre conditioned knowledge, everything drop.

Open. Listen. The elements of the body, earth, water, fire, air, space… experience.. energy.. intelligence..

Till later

 After the Tapasya, Suh Chien asked me some relevant doubts, which I think might be something concerning all students. The question is:

 ‘Would you advise me on how to progress; whether to continue with concentration practice on perception (touch, breath) or to look deeper in knowing the nature of the mind?  Should I get bother about the quantity (amount of time) or the quality (seeing the purpose) for silent practice??

I doubt if there should be a purpose when it comes to meditation but I wonder if those who have been meditating do get insights from their meditation or in other words reverse those unwholesome thoughts after a practice’?

Both concentration capacity as well as an open non -reactive capacity has to be developed for steady growth of strength and wisdom of the student. In the beginning, it is important to develop concentration practice. That develops the mind muscle so as to say, to withstand against the restlessness of the mind; similar to holding your body still in an asana, as against falling for the fidgety tendencies of the body while being in an asana.

Now, a student commented while asking me doubts about the distracting powers of the mind, that I might not be able to answer clearly about the tricks of the mind, as I am always above it, and hence ignorant of the tricks. This kind of idealization is not the right view. Though respect for teacher is good, seeing the teacher as an embodiment of all ideal qualities is not required. Every entity has a mind, and mind has typical common qualities shared by all. So I will answer this question through my own experiences.

Initially I was into lot of concentration practice. Sushumna, ida, pingala, third eye, breath, foot, hand, and so on.  Regular concentrative meditation on these kinds of objects has given different kinds of interesting experiences. Many of them, quite pleasurable, as mind gets dislodged off its usual preoccupations, it loses a sense of self, and then a distinctive peaceful joy dawns.

But then, concentration strength is something which can just sweep aside distractions, without really looking at them. And since I was not looking into the forces lurking behind the ability of concentration, I was not fully knowledgeable of the mind and its ways fully. Few years back I had a slight fall in concentration practice, and then the mind just started thinking on its own, and I fell right into it, becoming the thinker, the one who feels, reacts, worries, in short got a bit entangled in loops of thoughts.

It was an interesting experience for me to acknowledge the forces of the mind.  Experientially realized what Patanjali says that cause of duhkha is samyoga, or getting identified with the thoughts and feelings which come up. And the only way to get freedom is to cut the tentacles of the mind which is clutching on to certain trains of thoughts. Which Patanjali says is all about practicing viveka (discerning seeing) continuously (aviplava).

So I started looking into the mind, just being aware. Since concentration practice was a bit difficult, practice became mainly looking at the dance of thoughts. And then, slowly slowly, different kinds of insights started to develop; which I then started to share from Lake Kenyir retreat onwards.  This kind of open watching of thoughts, rather than controlling them or pushing them away, started to give a diff direction of experiences; especially once I stopped labeling myself as restless and simply related to the mind as that which is being restless and I am merely the watcher of it. Then the constantly rising thoughts, its power in evoking feelings, the fading of thoughts, start to give experiential ideas of impermanence of things, as well as the inherent non- satisfactoriness. You also see the nature of thoughts you indulge in, and have indulged in. Then you realize that mind is a neutral malleable substance. It is not that mind is a force which will make you do things. But rather, mind has got different powers, such as what we were talking about in Tapasya, capacity to align with jiva nature (i just named it jiva capacity), or capacity to align with atma nature (atma capacity). And your idle thoughts, however brief it had been, leaves its impressions, which then later becomes a force. So, if you were thinking in lines which limits, desires, worries etc, then you align with jiva capacity, which is all about getting limited, worried, anxious, discontented, confused etc. Same way, if you develop the capacity to just observe the jiva nature without getting caught up in it, slowly you will start to experience the atma capacity, which is a capacity to realize the inherent freedom, inherent clarity, equanimity etc.

So do practice both methods. The concentration practice to develop sitting endurance, that strong will. And once that power has been established, then incorporating the open awareness practice; letting go of specific objects; or, you can loosely hold on to a focus object, but really looking at the forces which are tending to take you away from it. Don’t label them as good thoughts, bad thoughts etc. Just thoughts, and just see them. Though Patanjali says to practice discerning seeing, this discerning wisdom cannot come from mind, which is what will happen if we start to label one as correct and other as wrong etc. From just seeing, after a while, discerning wisdom will start to spontaneously develop as that is an inherent natural capacity.

 Remember, clayness permeates every bit of pot, as that is the satya of pot; though the pot only relates to the potness of it, which is merely a superimposition created in its ignorance. Once you look at the pot silently, the clayness of it will become evident. Similarly, once you look at the mind for a while, the mithya of mind-ness will reveal the satya of atma, which reveals as not a thing, but as wisdom, as the presence.

 If you have time for 20 minutes daily sitting, then first 15 minutes you can do different techniques, such as deep breathing, breath observance etc, and then last 5 minutes open awareness where you move to and fro between getting caught up in reactions, and then recognizing and getting back to watching. Once the capacity to observe develop, eventually, 10 minutes concentration, and 10 minutes open awareness. And once open awareness is stable, putting it as a continuous practice, through out the day’s activities.

 Namaste!

This is Friday, Ashtanga day, 11 am! Morning class was good. Some students showed real improvement. Also, Annie asked some valid doubts about relational self, relative happiness etc. Great! People do read the mails. Wonderful!

Thoughts drifted to evening class. ‘Can I guide Chin’s shoulder extension to its full range in Prasarita padottanasana C? Perhaps Beena’s Marichi c binding too. Sivalal is starting to again improve, and can he be made to catch the big toe in half lotus; Can Say Guan can come in time?’; and so on. With all these possibilities, started feeling buoyant about the evening class. Just 6 hrs to go for the class, I thought. 

So, my feelings about the evening class, dependent on these ideas, intentions and aspirations was giving  lot of energy and motivation for teaching in the evening.

Now, just 30 mts to go for evening class. Sitting in the studio room. Current mental state? Dont want to teach! Reason? Feeling a bit feverish, chilly and tired.

So, my feelings about the class, now dependent on my body, is getting sapped out of energy and motivation..

Insight- the thoughts arising in the front at any moment are dependent on certain causes and conditions behind it, such as intention, attention, action, connection, feelings etc.

Time for an introspective arch back and drop. Let us see what may be found

1. Starting position- the current state- feeling a bit down, a certain resistance to teaching, a certain resistance to do sitting breath awareness. Chest feels a bit closed and inhalations are shallow. No mirror, but face must be grumpy.

2. Second position- arched back a bit- Here it is seen that awareness is totally relating to the body, and then getting identified with, ‘I am sick, I am tired’ conclusions.

3. Third position- arched back a bit more- Now can see that because I am contacting or in connection with sickness perceptions, the feeling of chill, feverishness along with connected thoughts are being excessively churned by mind. Can hear the mind saying, ‘you are going to be sick again, for next five days’ etc

4. Fourth position- Arching even further- sees that, I am in contact with these thoughts and bodily sensations, because, I am intensely attending to these sensations

5. Arching back a bit more,  I see that my intention for a strong  and effective teaching was always dependent on a robust body, where it can walk around energetically, can lift anybody to handstand, can make refined adjustment by which student understands some subtle action etc

6. Straining to arch back a bit more, I see that I am ignoring lot of other things which can be seen, but which is blinded by obsessive attending to sickness signs. That other than a slight chill, I still can talk, can walk around, and instead of hoisting everyone up in handstand, can orient the class to be strict with vinyasa, or to be strict with uddiyana action or drishtis, without straining physically.

7. Once I saw that, quickly changed my concentration to these points. Soon started to feel energetic again. The buoyant feeling right before a class  is starting to swell again. Let me stop now. Chin, Sivalal, Sai Yeang, Say Guan and the rest, here i come!

Now, have to apologize for this self based writing.

What I am trying to point out is that, at any point of time, whatever is being felt, it is not just a spontaneous, sudden thing. Of course sometimes some sudden thing can happen. But . And if you can look back from where you are, then you can see that the current mood/ though loop is dependent on a chain of causational succession of events/ ideas preceding it.

And instead of succumbing and reacting at the current state, if we can develop the capacity to be aware, and to look without reacting, then we will see, we will understand this chain of dependent effects. In the above cited example, when I was dependent upon a robust body for my confidence for teaching, then, this dependence set up the causes and conditions for duhkha or suffering, because the body, as with anything has the characteristics of impermanence (anitya) or unpredictability, inherent unsatisfactory-ness and which is essentially non-self (anatma). And when we really look at things non reactively,  insights can develop, and then we can change our dependence on unwholesome causes, see other things, lean a bit on it, and thus change the causes and conditions which can precipitate a wholesome effect.

Ok. That was my drop back on a rather small thing. It is now time for you to drop back.

So, next time you find yourself in an unwholesome state, get ready for a backbend.

Start to arch back from the current upset state, and see what immediately is behind it. See what you were depending upon for the non upset state till you got upset. And just keep dropping back. You will start to see what  you were ignoring, and how stuck the mind is with the thing which is upsetting it. And just this awareness itself can act as a sort of dissolvent of the glue which was keeping you bound to the upsetting thing.

Now, how to stack a series of causes which can eventually give rise to  unshakeable peace? Scriptures say, we have to have the right knowledge (vidya) of body and mind for that. And for getting this knowledge, first we should have shraddha with a particular teacher. Then virya or intensity. Then smrti or remembrance of the teachings. Then continuous self observation or svadhyaya. Then the insightful understanding (prajna) that the body and mind are not really ours. We are responsible for it, but they are really not ours. Then we start to see or get inquisitive about how it is all working. Then we can kind of dedicate or release the body and mind to its own conditioning, coordinating principles. Patanjali says leave it to Iswara. Then concentration develops. Followed by maître, karuna, upekshanam etc. Then a sweet pleasantness or prasadam. And then, perhaps, even samadhi. But what is samadhi? Ok, samadhi is classified into different types. They are…

Ok, in another mail, when i get an opportunity. Happy back bending